Of Love and New Beginnings

It has been said time and again that the best things present themselves when least expected. I am a firm believer in this notion. Recently, I was surprised by a handsome man who crossed my path. He swept me off my feet and with him took hold of my heart. Quickly, we developed a strong bond that the greatest forces of the universe could not break. Just as quickly, we both realized what we had found in one another - great comfort in realizing our compatibility - something sought after by so many but achieved by very few.

I learned from my mother that, in order to develop and maintain a strong relationship, it is important to respect someone for his or her individuality and unique character traits. At first, I didn't understand what she implied by this advice. The first few romantic relationships I had were filled with desires to achieve the unachievable and become a reflection of what someone else was looking for. After many failed attempts to fit an unsuitable mold, I started to understand the implications of my mother's words.

When I met him, I was caught off guard by his big heart and beautiful emotional core. He was stunningly handsome. I quickly came to admire him for his strength, confidence, and beauty. I knew that I had found a rare gem, and that my life was quickly taking a great turn.

It was natural for us to develop a significant emotional bond. We felt a mutual, natural emotional connection. I quickly and naturally fell in love, and let it be know to him. He returned that love to me.

Yesterday, he left Bangkok for London, England. Today, he arrived safe and sound. Hours after his arrival, I heard from him, and felt a great deal of relief. It's a new beginning for the two of us, and we're both very excited to embark on this adventure together. We've discussed many aspects of our relationship, and we're both on the same page when it comes to what we're hoping to achieve together.

We are aware that we'll have to remain physically distant much of the time for a couple of years. What is a couple of years in the grand scheme of life? In this case, I will be 24 going on 25, instead of 22. He will be 27, instead of 24 going on 25. Think about this - the average male adult in the U.S. lives to be in his 70s. In Thailand, an average adult male lives until his mid 60s. If that is the case, we are comparing about two years to between 40 and 50 years. In 40 years, I will be 62. He will be 64. In 50 years, I will be 72, and he'll be 74. In the grand scheme of life, a couple of years is but a drop in the bucket, and for a man who possesses such confidence, strength, maturity, and beauty, two years is an easy wait.

Life throws curve balls when you least expect them. C'est la vie. Our plans might undergo some revisions, but one thing will not falter - my love for him. I've found a wonderful, beautiful human being, and am forever grateful. I am never alone, nor is he. We're in this together, and will move forward as both individuals and a unit. My strength, confidence, and love for him will hold firm.

Good night and good luck, as you begin your new adventure in London! I will always be with you.

Hisashiburi

The title says it all: it has been a while. A couple of years ago, a viewer commented on one of my posts. He told me that I was quite the writer, and that I should "keep writing, until the very end". Shortly thereafter, I took a nearly two-year-long hiatus. To the viewer - I regret my decision to have taken said hiatus. Now for good news - as of 1.11.11, I have returned to blogging, and would like to take a post to reflect on the past two years, and on life.

Since I last blogged nearly two years ago, a lot has changed. Several weeks ago, I reflected on the changes that took place in this short time span. I am an advocate for change, and would not be happy if change did not occur in my life, but for goodness sake, the past two years have brought a whirlwind of change.

As the new semester approaches, I am fully aware that my undergraduate career is near completion. Forty two months ago, I entered the University at Albany as an immature freshman. Forty two months later, as I peer back at the days of relentless partying, short-lived romances, and great exploration, it's hard to recognize the young man who once dreamed of a career in television meteorology, who held no interest in Asian culture, and who could not have foreseen his life as it stands on 1.11.11.

Aside - it's purely a coincidence that I write this post on such a famed date.

Since I always do this, let's put everything into perspective.

I was born on 22 October, 1988. This fell on a Saturday, and stood as the 296th day of the year 1988. Saturday, 22 October marked the end to the 42nd week of 1988. As of 1.11.11, I was born 22 years and 20 days ago, which can also be stated as 266 months and 20 days ago. More precisely, I was born 8,116 days ago, or 8,117 days ago if you include today's date. While my birth occurred shortly after midnight, for the sake of argument, I'll say I was born at midnight on 22 October, 1988. In that case, I was born 194,784 hours ago, which is equivalent to 11,687,040 minutes, or 701,222,400 seconds (all rounded to the nearest hour, minute, and second, respectively).

At this point, you might be rolling your eyes and considering clicking the "x" on the top right-hand corner of your browser. Before doing so, I challenge you to figure out your lifespan as of today's date, and reflect on the events, big and small, that brought you to this point. I challenge you to put your life into perspective. That's what this blog is about - placing a spotlight on life and developing new perspective. Growth is coupled with perspective, much like our atmosphere is coupled with the vast oceans that cover our planet. They don't work independent of one another, but rather together. Such is the coupling of love and happiness, two of the greatest elements of life one can achieve.

Enjoy each moment - aim for the stars - soar ever upward and embrace the open sky - you're on a lifelong journey.

親友よ

親友よ- Shinyuuyo - Best Friend

I've been thinking a great deal about my loved ones recently. It's apparent to me that the longer one spends away from his or her loved ones, the more he or she begins to realize the importance of these people. The more I spend time away from my friends and family, the more I think how unbearable it would be for me to not have these people exist in my life. Certainly you could argue about the "what if's," like "what if you hadn't met them in the first place?" or, "what if you went your own separate ways?" I would counter those arguments by stating that all of those what if's are legitimate possibilities, but not realities.

With four weeks remaining in Japan, time is flying and remaining stagnant at the same time. Some days go too fast, and some days seem to never end. With the thought of returning home in four weeks on my mind, I can't shake this wild mixture of emotions. With the thought of seeing my best friend, my 親友よ, again in three weeks, some days are excrutiating. It's being able to see it, and being able to reach out and almost touch it, but knowing that there are still 21 days standing in between points A and B, that make these excrutiating days seem like the hardest days I've ever lived.

In the thirteen weeks I've spent away from my family (家族), my friends (友達), and my best friend (親友よ), I have come to understand the importance of these people in my life. So, in this case, there are no "what if's," because this is reality. You, and you, and you, and you, too, are important. Thank you for standing by me this entire time. I am grateful for your presence right now in my life. It may be unclear right now, but in time, whatever sediment remains suspended, clouding up an otherwise clear view, will settle, and my love and gratitude will be realized to their fullest extents.

I'll take this for what it's worth and use all that crosses my criss-crossing paths to strengthen myself and grow. I love my family, I love my friends, and I love you, so much. I am a fortunate person.

旅- Tabi - Journey - As it is, the journey continues moving forward, onward and upward...

Solitary

In the course of a significant journey, it can be expected that there will be many legs that are traveled in solitude. For if this was not the case, then there would be no time to reflect upon the foundation of the journey: growth, experience, learning, acceptance, tolerance, and so on. What if, however, each leg traveled becomes more solitary, and each significant person seems to become more distant? How should one account for all of the conflicting emotions that arise?

I have decided that growth cannot be experienced without conflict, and at times, great conflict signifies a growth spurt. My conflict arises right now from the thought of my future, which is more or less terrifying to me. The thing that scares me most is returning home to significant change, which I am not sure I will be able to handle after experiencing a sensory overload, so to speak, while living in another country--another world.

In the past three months, I have watched from a great distance so many people undergo significant change. I am pleased to see this taking place, as change is one of the greatest essences of life. I have undergone a great deal of change as well, particularly within my own personal realm. It comes at the thought of all of this change that I wish I could have remained with all of you to experience it. It is a frightening prospect to think that I do not know what I will return to in five weeks. I am struggling with this right now, because for the first time I get to view it from this side of the glass. I find this to be a solitary conflict right now.

I am not sad, as I understand that I am in the middle of growth. I feel that in five weeks time, my view on this subject will have changed considerably. I need you all to remain with me right now, through the rest of this journey, and beyond. Please don't doubt my strength and love.

Now the home-stretch begins. In five weeks, this experience will wash up on shore and dry up, but the memories will never fade, and the lessons learned will never disappear. Knowing full-well to make each passing day count, let's continue to aim onward and upward. Life is a two-way street, so let's continue to keep it flowing both ways.

As the journey draws closer to the end, so a new journey begins.

桜

...And with great expectations, I faced a new day and felt the wonderful sensations of living. Was it ironic that on this day, the sky turned grey and the city of Osaka was ensconced by a torrent of rain? Perhaps the answer lay in the 桜 that traversed the landscape and stole attention from every perceivable corner of the mind.

Is it ironic that beauty is enhanced by gloom? Today, the 桜 was the sunshine that warmed the earth. It softened the harsh chill that gripped every inch of flesh and bone.

It was the guardian of inconceivable wisdom.

I let the 桜 take hold of my spirit. I'll be damned if it ever lets go.

We enter into a new chapter of this journey. Let it continue to flow down an undetermined course into an unforeseeable future. Gather wisdom from its path, and stand with pride in times of shame and sorrow, humility in times of great achievement, and honor each and every day.

We'll grow and love.

With love in my heart, my journey continues on...

三月

じゃあ、ごめんなさい。三月、僕は忙しい人でした。四月、僕は暇です。元気な人ですよ。

March was a busy month for me. In addition to midterms rounding out the month, and traveling to 長野 and 広島 at the beginning, there was 春休み and various other expeditions to contend with. March was a month of growth. March was a month of adventure. March was a month to enjoy the company of friends, and March was a month of loneliness. At times, it seemed like it was flashing by, and at times it seemed like it was moving at a snail's pace. I look forward to seeing what April will bring. At the very least, I am hoping for warm, sunny days ahead.

春休みはよっかたですよ。東京に行って、日光に行きました。東京は迚も大きいでした、でも日光は奇麗でした！！There were so many sights in Nikko that I wished I could bring back home, as I was humbled by everything that surrounded me. Nature did not miss a beat with natural beauty. I particularly enjoyed the sight of large mountains sloping down into a beautiful, blue lake. Countless waterfalls rushed down every mountainside. I could have jumped into a fast-flowing stream and followed it all the way to the great Pacific Ocean.

In Tokyo, I was awed by the nighttime view atop Tokyo Tower (東京タワー). Never had I seen such a vast, sprawling display of lights and roads, twisting and turning in every direction, reaching beyond the horizon. How could an inspring display of man and an inspiring display of nature coexist? That is what I thought. How could they be located within such close proximity (within 75 miles) of one another? That, too, is what I thought.

And how, in the span of four weeks time, had I done so much? How had I traversed so much of 日本? I'll leave all of that for you to decide.

It's the home-stretch now. Ten down, seven to go. What possibilities exist for the future?

April promises to be good. April promises to flash by and move at a snail's pace. Let's ride the wings of April and see where we can go.

Let's continue this journey together, ne? We've only grown stronger.

The journey continues on...

On Dreaming

Certain dreams aren't meant for specific people. Dreams are shared by everyone. Dreaming - a common thread for human beings. Without dreams, it would be harder to achieve one's goals and aim ever upward. Sometimes, small dreams are sufficient, but greater dreams may need to be called upon during the most trying times.

While great dreams aren't necessary to achieve great things, they can broaden one's perspectives. They can open doors for great things. They can make the seemingly impossible, possible.

***

I few nights ago, I had an unusual dream. I was exploring the narrow streets of Hirakata. On each street, one side was lined with tidy homes, and the other side was lined with quaint, well-tended stores. It was a sight I hadn't yet seen in Japan. It reminded me more of New England than the Sun Origin Country.

The roads criss-crossed everywhere and seemed endless. At one point, I had strayed into an unfamiliar part of the city. It was getting dark and quiet. I had been with a friend, but she went back to school to prepare dinner.

As I walked on, I noticed that all of the stores were closed—all of the houses were locked up. It was unusual to me, since it was a weekday, and it wasn't yet 6:00pm.

A few houses away, there was a sound of laughter. I walked closer to it. The house looked familiar and awkward in it's placement. As I walked closer, I remembered seeing it in Albany. I pressed my face against a side window and peered inside.

***

An aged figure of myself sat in the center of the room. It was a familiar room—the living room of a house I used to visit frequently. I studied my face for a moment. Laugh lines were clearly visible around my eyes and mouth. I had a five o'clock shadow. Everyone surrounding me was familiar. We sat around a low table. There was a large pot in the middle of the table. Someone would occasionally grab something from the pot. Behind me, there had once been a poster of Marilyn Monroe. Now, a painting of a nighttime skyline hung tight against the wall. The once-white walls were now a warm shade of mocha.

As I listened, I heard myself speak. Was that English? I couldn't understand what had been said. The next few words were in English, but they were muffled. Maybe I had heard something about Japan?

To my right sat a handsome man. I recognized his face, but he had aged as well. He wore the same glasses he sported when he was younger. His hair was shorter now, and it was no longer dyed. He smiled the same smile I had always known, and he laughed the same laugh, too. He looked wonderful.

Across the table sat a beautiful woman. She had dyed her hair a rich shade of brown. I knew exactly who she was. The last time I had seen her, we were in that same room. Then, I remembered a letter she had sent me while I was studying in Japan. "What's wrong with you?" read the first line. I laughed to myself. She was still going strong.

Another man entered the room. He had grey streaks in his hair. He also wore the glasses from his younger years. Following him was a familiar woman. I hadn't seen her in ages. They sat next to each other. They both joined in on the conversation. Within moments, both of them were laughing like young children. They turned to each other and kissed.

Across from them was an unforgettable face. The last time I saw him, his skin glowed with a healthy tan. He sat next to a woman I did not recognize. Maybe she is his wife? He turned to my aged-self and called me something that sent the widest smile across my face. Larry-chan.

***

I walked to another window and peered inside. There stood the owner of the home. He no longer wore skinny jeans and a baseball cap as he cooked. His face had aged with happiness. His hair showed signs of grey, but still maintained it's jet-black color. A beautiful woman helped him prepare food. I know her face, but I have never met her. I couldn't put a name to her.

I looked around the kitchen and noticed a number of differences. It was painted orange, and the vinyl floor had been replaced with beautiful grey tile. All of the cabinets had been changed, and a granite counter top took the place of the old laminate one.

The two headed back to the living room with more food. Many more people had arrived. Almost all of them looked familiar. They quickly joined in the laughter and conversation.

***

I sat on the steps of the front porch in a state of Euphoria. I thought back to the last night I had been there. January 21, 2009.

***

The door opened behind me, and a handsome man stepped outside. He resembled his younger- self. My aged figure followed him. I stood up and looked at them. They were laughing. Both of them looked so happy. They turned towards me and stopped. They both looked at me for a while. My aged figure stepped forward. Without saying anything, he ruffled my hair. I felt a tear stream down my cheek.

He looked at me, then back at the handsome man. He turned back to me and smiled.

"Be happy, kiddo. Look at some of the great things that lie ahead of you, if you keep dreaming. So dream, because your journeys depend on it."

He paused for a moment. "And just remember..."

The handsome man on the porch stepped forward and spoke up. "...Always do your best, no matter what. We are always with you."

He stepped down to meet me. I took his hand for a moment. It felt the same way it always had. I cracked a weak smile.

He joined my aged-figure's hand, and the two of them walked to a blue car across the street. I looked at the car. Subaru. Some things aren't meant to change.

I walked away from the house, but as I did, I turned back in time to see everyone standing on the porch. They all waved to me, as if I had been in their company the entire time. I waved back, and for the first time that night, I spoke up.

"See you soon!" I shouted.

***

[Dream:
"...and the hats whirled skyward,
buoyed by bright, new hopes
and propelled by big daring dreams!"]

夢 [Dream]

"Dreams
are today's answers
to tomorrow's questions."

***

...and as I dreamed, my journey continued on.