Warmth

Heavy dark clouds loomed over the landscape as I sped southward on Interstate 87 towards New York City. Nothing about the scenery seemed particularly welcoming. I felt no sense of warmth as I peered at the bright red and orange foliage lining the roadway. My mood was dark. In fact, as if that dictated my surroundings, everything became darker as the miles to Manhattan rapidly whittled away. Anxiety began to take hold, but I couldn't think of any clear-cut explanation for this. I began to fear that my busy weekend was going to be marked with regret.

As I pulled up to the corner of West 48th Street and 8th Avenue, a heavy mist set in. Large crowds of people were rushing to seemingly nowhere. The grey asphalt was noticeably greyer than usual. The surrounding skyscrapers looked more ominous today. They disappeared into the low-hanging clouds, giving the illusion that they continued on for miles. The air was warm and clean, but the mist stung as I entered the hotel lobby on West 48th Street. I felt removed from everything. It was as if I was peering into a display case--my display case.

A blonde-haired woman at the reception desk began to speak to me. I was only able to listen to bits and pieces of what she was saying. I felt burdened by something, and her words were only adding to it.

"Life goes so quickly," she said. "My mother has Hepatitis C. Her liver is failing. It came out of nowhere. She never did drugs. She was an honest woman...a caring individual. It absolutely kills me. Make sure to respect those who hold value in your life, because one day you'll wake up and they'll be gone."

I was relieved when I finally reached my room. 314 marked the doorway about one third of the way down. The numbers seemed very imposing--almost uninviting. As I entered the oddly-shaped room, my head became heavier. I immediately made a bee-line for the far bed, but I paused in front of the window for a moment. I was nervous to peak outside as I feared a poor view of nothing. Sure enough, I was right. At that moment, it only seemed fitting to sleep. It seemed like the safest way to escape reality.

I awoke to four beeps. I grabbed my cell phone to read a new text message. It read: Leave earlier and get here before 5.30! It was from my friend Danny. He had been a romantic interest at one point, but he now maintained his position as a close friend of mine. There was a sudden movement next to me. My friend who had been snoring one minute earlier had rolled over and pushed me to the very edge of the twin bed.

I stood up quickly to avoid falling. My vision dimmed as my blood pressure dropped. I felt foggier than before. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to nap. I felt like I had left myself back in Albany. My stomach flipped at the thought of meeting Danny again. I knew I was not at my best and that certainly didn't help my anxiety.

The heavy mist transitioned into a steady moderate rain as I walked towards the subway stop at West 49th Street and 7th Avenue. It was very warm and humid yet I was chilled to the bone. My intuition was telling me that something was off. I ignored it and pushed on towards the platform.

I stepped out into the elements at West 14th Street and 7th Avenue. It was time to speak to Danny for the first time in months. I dialed his number and waited. An unfamiliar voice sounded on the other end. Was this Danny or had I dialed the wrong number? It only took me a moment to recognize his tone. Had I been expecting someone else? I felt uneasy as I arrived at our planned meeting spot in Union Square.

The park seemed more crowded than usual. Again, everyone seemed to be rushing to get to nowhere. I turned to face my friend, Brian, who had accompanied me to the meeting. "I'm not sure how I feel about this," I said. "He sounded different, like hes gone through a drastic change. I only saw him two and a half months ago. That's a short time for such change." I noticed a hint of concern in his face.

The wait seemed endless. The rain had stopped but the clouds had lowered and thickened. A fog was beginning to shroud the surrounding streets. Finally my phone rang. "I think I see you. Turn around," said Danny's changed voice. I turned to face uncertainty. At that moment, my anxiety melted away. There stood the Danny I had always known. There were some notable differences, but I couldn't have mistaken him for anyone else.

He cast a new energy. He was more vibrant than I could remember. I embraced him for a few moments. He smelled the same. His voice had changed a bit. It held a happier tone. His face looked relaxed and he appeared to be very comfortable. I experienced a wave of joy as I realized how much he had grown in the few short months since I had last seen him.

My visit with Danny only lasted about an hour, but as I embraced him again and thanked him for his time, I felt rejuvenated. Never had I been so proud to see one of my friends grow so much. I looked up at the sky that filled the space between the glass and steel giants of Manhattan. The fog had lifted. The mist and rain had stopped. There was a break in the clouds overhead. "Damn" was all I could muster up at that moment.

***

One of my favorite feelings is one that accompanies reuniting with an old friend or lover. It's the result of the anticipation and the reality of standing face-to-face with that particular person. I stood face-to-face with Danny this weekend in what I can only describe as one of my finer moments. I felt my face glowing in his presence. During that visit I reached an epiphany. My values--who and what I value in my life--became much clearer. Change is a good thing. It brings about new meaning. It would be an injustice to humankind to prevent such change from occurring.

After I left Danny, I thought back to the times I would lie next to him and feel his warmth. That is my favorite feeling. Whenever there exists a physical connection between two people, the resulting warmth could melt every glacier on this planet in an instant. I miss that feeling, but I know it will return someday. Times have certainly changed and Danny and I no longer hold a romantic connection, but man, his warmth is stronger than ever.

***

As I pulled up to the Dutch Quad parking lot at UAlbany, a blonde-haired woman appeared in my mind. She was speaking of respect and valuing those who hold significance in my life. I turned off the car and looked across the parking lot. I took a deep breath. A steady rain was falling but the visibility was good. I exhaled and relaxed. I looked down at the empty seat next to me. The blonde-haired woman reappeared in my mind. Her face was warm and inviting and her voice was soothing. She spoke of a bright future. "Damn" was all I could muster up at that moment.

Faith

There have been more than a few recent events that have made me question my faith in others. I feel that I may hold too much faith in certain people. Until recently, I didn't understand that it was possible to pour too much faith into a significant person. Now, it's a hard reality that's beginning to set in.

Maybe my intentions were misunderstood. Perhaps my friendship was mistaken for something more than that. I have never befriended another human being simply out of concern for his or her well-being or out of pity. I am outgoing, but I chose my friends wisely. I befriend people whose company I can enjoy. They're people whom I can relate to. I am able and willing to confide in them. Sometimes it only takes a short time to grow a strong connection with an individual. Sometimes it only takes a short time to develop a great deal of care for another human being. Sometimes the greatest relationships peak at good friendships.

It is exhausting to care for someone who is disrespectful. It doesn't matter if someone is disrespectful to a you or a friend, or even a stranger. It's painful to witness and nearly impossible to ignore. I do not allow people to take advantage of me. I try to steer clear of conditional friendships. I do things for my friends and family that I'm not forced to do. I lend a hand when help is needed. Although I hope that the favor will someday be returned, it's not a requirement. Even so, I don't hesitate to say no.

The hardest realization that I have come to accept is that nine times out of ten, a disrespectful person is a good individual who is hiding behind a façade. The only way to truly help someone like this is by not helping at all; instead, it's better to stand in the background for support. I haven't yet decided what to do, but at this point, it seems a lot easier to deal with the pain of losing someone significant than it seems to deal with the pain of disrespect. On the other hand, nothing worthwhile is easy. I believe you and I believe in you. I will continue to hold my faith for now, but at this rate, not forever. I care tremendously. You're no greater than or less than a good friend, and I hope that you'll begin to realize that.

Fall Away

At around nine o'clock last night I trekked arcross campus to visit my friend Spencer who was feeling a bit lonely. The moon was just breaking over the tree line. It looked ominous--almost distressed--as it hovered low, its eerie yellow façade seemingly poised to reach down and touch me. I knocked on Spencer's door, and within seconds a warm and welcoming face appeard on the other side. We began casually talking but soon ended up discussing everything ranging from our pasts to some of the challenges we are currently facing and where we envision ourselves in future years. I felt that I had a calming presence as I was able to share experiences with Spencer and build insight on the tragedies and triumphs of freshman year. I spoke of tremendous growth and promised better times ahead. At this point, I was his teacher--a guiding light.

As we were talking, we found ourselves face to face with the question when is enough, enough? What is the tipping point for a human being? How much can we let one particular thing eat away at our existence? We each shared a couple of stories regarding secrets that reached their tipping points. We discussed the resulting fall-outs from our releases. We argued about whether or not there exists a point in which a secret can no longer be maintained. We agreed based on our experiences and common sense that this point does exist, but it is more or less arbitrary.

We also discussed Japan in depth. At this point, it was Spencer's turn to teach. He spoke of unprecedented beauty and respect for others. He shared captivating stories of his travels to the island nation. "One time," he said, "I stopped to take a picture of a raccoon statue that represented good fortune for the Japanese people. My camera had gotten wet from the rain, so it wasn't working properly. It took me a long time to get it focused and ready for the picture. As I was about to snap the shot, I noticed something unusual out of the corner of my eye. I looked over and saw a traffic jam of people waiting for me to take the picture. Each person was smiling, and a few people even kindly waved. I took the picture and then waved them on." He was astounded by the kindness of these people. As I was listening, I felt chills run the length of my spine. "Something about that story was so beautiful," I said.

He also told me of a day he spent at a local Japanese high school. He found it very easy to bond with the students there. In one class, he heard the students repeating the phrase アームレスリソグ (aamu resurisogu: arm wrestle). "They were challenging me to an arm wrestling match. The entire class lined up for a chance to go against me. There was one big guy who gave me a good match. I was facing defeat, but I couldn't let that happen because I was representing our country. If I lost, our country lost. After the match, as I was saying goodbye to everyone, the big guy approached me and gave me a five yen coin. He explained to me that it represents a Japanese superstition. It means that I'll see him again someday, and that he'll never forget me, just as I'll never forget him." His eyes were glistening. I felt chills again.

We continued to discuss the beauty of Japan. I was speaking from what I had read and heard. He was speaking from personal experience. "You have no idea, Larry. You're going to return from Japan a different person." I was captivated. Of all Friday nights, this very well could have been my greatest. I found myself even more energized. I could tell Spencer felt the same way. Sometimes you can simply read a person through their eyes. As I left, I looked at Spencer and sensed great admiration. He didn't have to thank me. I could read it in his eyes.

I started the trek back to my room around quarter of two this morning. As I was walking, I peered up at a calmer moon. The night sky was peaceful and the air was crisp. As I focused straight ahead, I felt more hope for the future than I had in ages.

Without Expectation

I'll speak for the masses when I say that life is full of unexplained twists and turns. The most rewarding things turn up when least expected. They become elusive when sought after. They flow smoothly when embraced without resistance, and they become jagged when questioned.

It's natural to seek meaning in everything that surrounds us. It has been the main objective of humankind since the days of Plato and Aristotle to place meaning on everything ranging from human behavior to natural disasters. In fact, Aristotle argued that nature intended us to find reason in situations that seemingly had no solutions. This argument became the foundation for modern-day rhetoric. It's fascinating how we're all naturally driven to seek universal truths, but what if there isn't a universal truth for everything?

Human behavior seems to lie in this gray area. Who is to say that Johnny's demeanor is more normal than Sally's? Who is to say that the variations in demeanor is normal? What if Johnny was robbed at gunpoint? Would it be considered normal for Sally to turn and run for protection? What if Sally decided to risk her life to save Johnny. Perhaps she's doing it for a noble cause. Is that normal? I realize the example is extreme, but it serves well for the purpose of this argument.

Dr. Alfred Kinsey (1894-1956) studied a specific part of human behavior that arguably holds no logical explanation. He focused on human sexuality in the United States during the 1930s, 1940s and 1950s and became regarded by many as the enabler of the sexual revolution during the 1960s. He was once quoted as saying that "diversity in life is an irreducible fact." While his research was rather complex, he was instrumental in raising the question of what humans consider to be normal. In the case of his research, he concluded that no two humans behave alike. Since we all vary greatly--here in terms of sexuality--how are we supposed to label what is normal? What becomes a good reference point? We make judgments based on what we perceive to be normal, which is often times based on our own behaviors, but isn't that biased?

This is what makes living worthwhile. Since there is no clear-cut way to universally define what is normal, why don't we just embrace all of the great things that cross our winding paths? Why don't we live the way we feel we should? I'm at a crossroads in my life right now where rewarding things are turning up each and every day. I'm meeting some outstanding people who are adding so much to my life. I'm involved in the campus community. I'm experiencing a level of energy that I haven't experienced in a long time. You'll realize that you maintain a level of importance if you simply embrace what has already turned up at your door. I've had many peaks in the past, but as I already mentioned, this peak surpasses any that I've experienced in many years. It comes with understanding. It comes with acceptance and self-realization. It's like a new chapter in your life. Watch the sunrise. View it any way you'd like. It's your own perceptions that make you unique and so outstanding.

Learn to Accept

It pains me to see people outcast from a particular group or multiple groups as a result of who they are. It only seems logical to me that those who have a hard time accepting others also have a hard time accepting themselves. I consider myself a tolerant person, but I believe that there is always room for improvement. Just as one cannot know everything there is to know about life, one cannot possess full level of tolerance.

I was once approached by a peer who was struggling to find his way because he was "different." I sat down with him and listened to his story. By the end, I was fighting back tears because I had witnessed and experienced through his words the pain he had suffered throughout his life. Many painful memories from my past flooded my body. I became weak. It is one thing to listen to and comprehend words and sentences. It is another thing to relate to one's stories through vivid and painful memories.

I was born into a Christian family, yet I do not believe in one divine power. I think that my pastor would be disappointed in me. I am okay with that. It is one difference I possess from other people. Difference is a good thing. Imagine a world without difference. How boring! We can all contribute through our differences. We are not all scientifically literate, but those of us who are can improve millions of lives through research and development. We are not all musicians, but those of us who are can heal the greatest wounds. We are not all engineers and architects, but those of us who are can design and construct glorious structures. We are not all artists, but those of us who are can take even the most mundane image or object and turn it into beauty in its purest form.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy once stated that "if we cannot end now our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity." One of the reasons I so looked forward to college was because I longed to become a part of the diversity that is UAlbany. I certainly diversified my "life portfolio" upon entering the doors of this great school over one year ago. Today I continue to embrace diversity. In my opinion, diversity can only be embraced through acceptance and tolerance. Acceptance and tolerance can only be achieved through education and experience. Education and experience can come in many different forms. Traveling takes on one of those forms. And so my journey to the Sun-Origin Country continues. Isn't it amazing how many facets of life can be tied into studying abroad?

Live to Understand

I believe it is possible to go through life without ever fully understanding those who are closest to you. I believe it is possible to only know some people from what they possess on the outside. It isn't necessarily shallow. Some people--sometimes close friends and relatives--make it impossible to view what they possess underneath. Some people fear judgement. Some people fear abandonment. Some people fear misunderstanding. Some people even fear that what they possess inside might lead to physical harm.

I also believe that it is possible to go through life without fully understanding yourself. I lived this way for much of my nearly twenty years of life. Sometimes misunderstanding leads to denial. Sometimes denial leads to misunderstanding. Sometimes there are multiple causes of misunderstanding. They can be internal and external. They can result from a familiar surrounding environment, or they can arise from within. Sometimes it's easier to sort through multiple problems than one great problem. Sometimes multiple problems branch off of a greater problem.

Just over one month away from my twentieth birthday, I can state with conviction that I understand who I am as fully as possible at this juncture. I understand where I am, and I understand where I'd like to be. I understand that my future may not shape up exactly as I wish. I understand that getting from point A (present) to point B (future) may have a million starting and stopping points along the way. I understand as much as I am able to with what relatively little I have already experienced. Like every other human on this planet, I have experienced high points and low points. A life without ups and downs is no life for me.

I think one reason I am able to understand myself so well is because I do what I love to do and I expect little in return. Contrary to what so many believe, having limited expectations does not correlate with indifference. In this sense, I think it makes an individual more comfortable with who he/she is. I see it this way: Someone who does what he or she loves to do and expects little if anything in return possesses all the happiness in the world. I cannot say with honesty that I fit this description perfectly, but I strive to live like this in the future.

When I approached my academic adviser with great excitement last spring about my interest in studying in Japan, I was met with indifference. In fact, much of my academic department seemed to possess the same attitude. I was a bit frustrated and discouraged, but I wasn't going to let a few people stop me from exploring one of my passions. I reviewed my MAP for many hours until I was able to find a sure way of working one semester abroad into my schedule. It was reinvigorating. For the same reasons I declared Atmospheric Science as my major--I've held a passion for weather since the age of five or six--I am continuing on my journey to the other side of the world. While so many work to find themselves, I don't know if it's possible exploring your passions and doing what you love to do.

Tonight I offer the weary some words of encouragement. If you love what you do, don't let anything stand in your way. Obstacles are only as big as you perceive them to be. If you're passionate about your work, any challenges should be met with enthusiasm. That last sentence can explain why I have made it through two challenging calculus and physics courses over the past year. Nothing should stop you from broadening already existing horizons and developing new ones. It's logical that a stagnant lifestyle inhibits growth and learning. Explore your passions and transform your curiosities into understandings. This is why I didn't end my journey last spring. After all, where there's a will, there's a way.

Sunrise

I think the term sunrise can hold multiple meanings. Aside from the literal definition referring to the point at which the sun breaks over the horizon each day, I think sunrise can hold many figurative meanings as well. Maybe it can be compared to falling in love. Perhaps it can be used to mark the dawning of a new chapter in life. I like that. I find it fitting that the sun is rising on a new chapter of my life as I prepare to live in the Land of the Rising Sun.

Have you ever paused for a moment to consider our Universe? It's continuing to expand at relativistic speeds. More and more galaxies are forming and being discovered. There must be trillions and trillions of Sun-like stars speckled throughout the Universe. In our home galaxy, the Milkyway, there are believed to be between 200 and 400 billion stars. Even with all of these stars, our lives rely solely on one: the Sun. Isn't that wild? I think so.

Think of how many sunrises must occur throughout the Universe. Think of how many new days dawn even in the farthest reaches of space. Think of how many sunrises must be observed on every Earth-like planet that might exist. It's simply mind-numbing. We're surrounded by something that may best be measured in terms of infinity yet we exist in a space that's too small to account for in the grand scheme of things. Even so, as long as the Sun continues to rise with reliability and consistency, I think that our minute corner of the Universe is pretty grand.

A little closer to home, the Sun has already risen on Japan. In about eight hours, the sunrise will reach the East Coast of the United States. While we don't view this phenomenon at the same time as our friends in Japan, we view the same thing. The sunrise only differs based on perceptions. It's transformed based on physical weather conditions and perceived differently by each individual. I think we all see what we want to see.

This is very similar to our lives. We live the way we believe we should live. We all perceive life differently. We all find our own ways and we all define success based on our beliefs and values. My chapters may differ greatly from your chapters, just as my sunrise may differ greatly from your sunrise, but in the end, we all view the same phenomenon just as we all experience what life has to offer.

I'd like to briefly mention the Gulf Coast--in particular, the Greater Houston, TX area--as millions of people are reeling from the effects of Hurricane Ike. Ike made landfall this morning at 2:10am CDT as a strong Category 2 hurricane with winds reaching 110mph. From all accounts, there is widespread devastation over much of Southeast Texas, particularly in the Houston/Galveston areas. I think it's a good idea to keep everyone down there in thought as the long recovery and rebuilding process begins.

Tired and Happy

As the week is beginning to wind down, I'm feeling worn out. The only way I can explain how I feel is how I imagine everyone feels before the onset of a cold. My body is achy and my mind is exhausted. I'm not usually one to get sick, so I'm keeping optimistic and hoping that a good night's rest will help.

I am continuing to make progress with my Japanese. I'm learning important questions like すみません。いまなんじですか (Excuse me. What time is it now?) and more useful phrases like どうぞよろしく (Nice to meet you). Though my schedule is busy, I am still able to find time to sit down and spend an hour or two reading through my book each day.

Shifting focus a little bit, I'm enjoying this part of my life a lot. As my mother once put it so easily, "It's a great time of [my] life to be single and 'selfish'." I won't define selfish here in the traditional sense. It's simply a good time to concentrate on myself and my future. Sometimes being single gets a little lonely, but I'm currently happier than I've been in a long time. In my life, happiness takes priority. I'm not sure I could be at this point in my life without being happy.

In Japanese, the word for happy (content) is しあわせな, but I believe another word for it is うれし. It has been said that happiness is not to be sought after, but rather it should find you. Happiness is a hard word to define because everyone has their own ideas of what it means to them. I have my own definition(s) of happiness. I hope to continue down the road I am currently traveling. I hope to continue to befriend many wonderful and supportive people. I hope to transition well between college and my future career. I hope to travel in an effort to learn and grow. I hope to continue to broaden my existing horizons and develop new ones in an effort to better understand the world around me. I hope to meet a wonderful person someday at the right time in my life. I hope to experience true love and grow a deep level of trust and appreciation for that individual. I hope to raise a happy and healthy family. I hope to take part in my childrens growth and I hope to be as much of a teacher for them as they will be for me. I want to love my children unconditionally. I want to grow old with my partner and watch my children have children and raise happy and healthy families. I want to give to them what I've gained from everything I've experienced. I still have so much to live for, but from what I've already experienced, I'm convinced that I'm on the right track.

My journey to Japan will only help to point me onward and upward.

Genki

I am now the proud owner of Genki I: An Integrated Course in Elementary Japanese. Buying this book was probably my best expenditure of money this semester. Considering I purchased a textbook, a work book, and an introductory Japanese dictionary, I found my payment of $75.00 to be very reasonable. It was, in fact, my smallest payment for any textbook package this semester. What do I say to that? すごい！！I realize that there's probably a better vocabulary word than "wow" to describe my purchase, but I haven't yet read beyond "greetings."

I've become accustomed to listening to discussions in Japanese. My goal is to pick out as many recognizable words as possible, and then, by my understanding of the context of the discussion--more often than not, it's an educated guess--try to make sense of what's being said. So far, I've had little success. I am, however, now able to recognize the sounds being produced, which helps me recognize full words (even if I cannot understanding their meanings).

I'm happy with my progress. I have developed a strong will to learn the Japanese language. To me, it's like cracking a code. I'm continuing to practice hiragana and katakana, and I'm learning how to combine the characters and sounds to make new words. It certainly isn't easy, but it's a lot of fun! From my experience, nothing worth doing is ever easy, but everything worth doing is always enjoyable.

Not only do I have a few new tools to help me learn Nihongo, but I have quite a support-team behind me. It's hard for me to express my gratitude towards everyone who's helping me study, but I feel very confident in my future progress as a result. Since I know that some of you read my blog, thank you for your help. My appreciation for each one of you continues to grow.

My love for Japan continues to grow stronger everyday. When I entered UAlbany as a freshman last year, I never dreamed that I'd be in this position one year later. It's hard for me to picture what one more year will bring, but I can imagine that many great things lay ahead. For everything that I've already gained, I look forward to being able to give back someday.

Another Chapter

Simply put, today was wonderful. After a night of partying with new friends, I shifted my focus towards teaching and learning. For the better part of four hours, I sat with Tomoya-san on the UAlbany academic podium, sharing stories of life and comparing our home countries. I have to say that in those four hours, I became so much more aware of life outside of my own bubble.

It's one thing to have a casual conversation with a friend in passing. It's another thing to discuss in-depth with another human being about each other's past experiences. It's yet another thing to gain a whole new perspective on life in just short of four hours. Our conversations ran the gamut from driving in Japan to studying in the United States to adjusting to a new country and recovering from cultural shock. It was yet another humbling experience to speak with Tomoya. As has been the case lately, I was put in my place again.

From what I've experienced, the more I open myself up, the bigger this planet gets. I'm grateful to hear such unique perspectives on different issues like tolerance and acceptance, and I'm amazed by how much we--Americans vs Japanese citizens--are so similar. While I'm still anxious to study in a foreign country, I feel that regardless of the barriers that may need to be broken down, I will be able to adjust and gain the most out of my journey that I possibly can.

I regard Tomoya very highly. I think he is one of the most interesting people I've met in my short twenty years of life, and I really enjoy his company. I appreciate his willingness to open up to me and share his stories and his views, many of which are similar to mine. From everything I've read and understood, Japanese people tend to be more reserved than those of us in the United States. It is a simple cultural difference. With that said, I have been very impressed with Tomoya's openness and honesty. He has a great heart and has promised to help me with my preparations over the next few months.

I think that this is the beginning of a good friendship. I know that at the end of this year, Tomoya and many more of my friends will return to Japan to begin a new stage of life. We will all be physically separated by half the world, but we will all remain together in spirit. It is through the long conversations and the sharing of stories that lasting impressions can take root and grow. I look forward to learning more from Tomoya-san, Kazuto-san, Yujiro-san (or Yujiro-chan--I haven't yet decided), Akitomo-san, Ikki-san, Yohei-san, Reika-chan, Emma-chan, Tatsuya-san, Taka-san, and everyone else that I have met and have yet to meet along the way. From what I've taken out of each one of these people, I can say with confidence that Japan is the one and only choice for me.

Beyond Expectation

In the spring of 2008, I began what I consider to be the greatest journey of my life to date. In late April, a casual interview with my Japanese friend grew into what is my journey to the other side of the world. Though I haven't left Upstate New York yet, my spirit has already found it's place in the Land of the Rising Sun. In May, I visited the Office of International Education to inquire about studying at Kansai Gaidai located in the Kansai region of Japan near Osaka. I met Ms. Danielle Leonard who became my lifeline through the entire application process and supported my decision to step out of my comfort zone--I am an atmospheric science major, after all, so this is quite a step for me--and strive to achieve something that at one point was a mere distant dream of mine.

As spring transitioned into summer, I became more focused on my application. The University at Albany only required a short essay and two reference letters, along with an official transcript. Kansai Gaidai required multiple essays and letters of recommendation. In total, the combined applications amounted to between twenty and thirty pages. I cannot say that I haven't felt completely exhausted at times and even a bit discouraged, but I know that if all goes well, I'll find myself in one of the most fascinating and compelling places on earth in just over four months.

Over the summer, I also took on another job: helping international students adjust to a new life in the United States. I applied to help two students; I ended up becoming involved with more than ten. At the time of the application in early July, I had no idea what I was getting involved in. Since I had no prior experience with helping international students, I had no clue what to expect. I hoped to give each student a good impression of the United States, but I was afraid that there would be many barriers to overcome.

I met Akitomo on August 11th, only hours after I had arrived back in Albany from a trip to Alaska. Needless to say, I was tired and a bit spacey, but I managed to spend three hours talking to him and answering many questions. For the next week, Akitomo experienced life in an American household while he lived with me.

Soon after, I began meeting more international students like Lewis, Joe, Manabu, Ikki, Taka, Naoki and Yan, to name a few. I was pleased with the progress I saw from each of these individuals with every passing day.

It is rewarding beyond words to give help and leave a lasting impact on the lives of these students. In the short month that I have known Akitomo, I have learned more about Japan than I had known in my nearly twenty years of life prior to meeting him. Each student has offered me insight on their sides of the story--looking into the United States from the outside--which is of great interest to me.

It's safe to say that this has been a humbling experience. When you encounter different cultures from a primary source--in this case, the international students--it makes you feel very small. It's like each student is a new chapter to a story, and each has a different perspective. As I explained to Akitomo, just over two months ago, he lived on the east-central coast of Japan, I lived in Upstate New York, and our lives didn't seem destined to cross paths. Now, Akitomo and I are good friends and are learning a great deal from one another. It's still hard for me to wrap my mind around that.

More recently, I have been teaching myself Japanese (Nihongo/日本語) with the help of many friends and, of course, Danielle. It's a hard language to learn as there are two alphabets: Hiragana (平仮名/ひらがな/ヒラガナ), where the vowels A, I, U, E, and O look like あ、い、う、え、お, and Katakana (片仮名/かたかな/カタカナ), where the vowels A, I, U, E, and O look like ア、イ、ウ、エ、オ. There is also Kanji (漢字), which is the use of Chinese characters in the Japanese language. Kanji is hard to learn unless you know the meaning of each character, but I know a very small amount. For instance, the kanji for Japan (Nihon/Nippon) looks like 日本. Japan is officially called Nihon-koku or Nippon-koku, meaning "sun origin country."

I have also started to attend Japanese Student Association (JSA) meetings. I recognize a few faces, but for the most part, I'm meeting new people. Last weekend, I met the Vice President of the JSA, Kazuto, and the President, Shiho. I also saw Emma, whom I consider to be one of the greatest forces behind my decision to study in Japan, for the first time in over three months.

I also met a wonderful and very kind person named Tomoya, who came here from Kansai Gaidai at the beginning of last year. I was recently able to sit down and talk to him a bit about Kansai Gaidai and the Kansai region of Japan, and what it's like to live near Osaka and Kyoto. He grew up outside of Kyoto in a rural area, yet he still lived very close to Japan's second largest metropolis (Osaka-Kyoto-Nara). I also explained to him what it was like to grow up in Albany and how the area has changed so much in the past decade. While the converstation was limited to only an hour, I learned a lot from Tomoya-san, and I'm looking forward to talking to him again. I have a feeling he'll be a huge force in preparing me for life in Japan.

As the semester picks up, I'll be writing more about my ongoing journey and the preparations for my upcoming travels. I am beyond excited to have the opportunity to experience life in such a romanticized country. I also have many anxieties about living halfway across the world. Will I meet many people? Will the language barrier be too great? What if something bad happens while I'm there? I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Needless to say, this is one giant leap out of my comfort zone, but in my opinion it's the best way to learn and grow.